I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
