I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
