ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
