I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
