you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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