Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
