I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize