We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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