If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
