i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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