So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
