Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
