also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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