That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize