she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
