he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Mom said you looked used
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
