both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
