Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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