All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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