Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
