Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
