He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
