I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
