Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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