Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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