Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just threw up on my dentist
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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