Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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