please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
