True but thats because hes a fetus.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize