That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
