I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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