ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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