im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
