I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
