We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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