Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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