Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
