woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
