Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
