the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
