You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
