She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
