Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize