I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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