I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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