Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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