I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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