CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
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