Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
