so that wasnt chicken after all
My balls are so social today.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize
