Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
