Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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