no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
