and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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