It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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