Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
