I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
