idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My dick has a subreddit
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
