so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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