Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
