I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize