hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
