it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
being pregnant is like rehab
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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