How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
