I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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