remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
