if you like me you must not know who I am
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
