I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
and she was petting her beer can
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
