Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
