moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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