i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
