so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
