Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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