i jhust puked up my retainher.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
