Your tits are I can't wait for
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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