chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
