Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize