I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
